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Do you have a partner who abuses you? Here are 5 ways to deal with it.

Abuse

Verbal abuse is when the other person uses negative words. At times, even petty fights lead to verbal abuse. If you or anyone you care about is in an abusive relationship, there are ways to break away from such relationships and stop this violence. In this article, we will discuss 5 ways in which you can tackle such problems and deal with it.

Reach out if you need help

Every country has taken the responsibility to help an individual in domestic violence and has made it a punishable offense. There are many organizations that can help you. Do not think that you are alone! Your friends and family members are not necessarily the best people to help you. They mean well, but they could still be minimizing the abuse or you could jeopardize their safety by taking their help.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224. The National Domestic Violence Hotline number will refer you to the organization in your area. They provide individual and group therapy. In fact, they will help you with legal matters as well.

Be confident and attempt to reason with the abuser

The most instinctive way to respond to verbal abuse by your partner is to attempt to reason with him or her. When your partner defines you negatively, your natural reaction is to attempt to convince the other partner why their labels are mistaken. In doing so, you’re expecting the abuser to be a normal adversary, someone who will listen to reasons and arguments. It is difficult to reason with an abuser as they tend to victimize themselves most of the time

Refrain yourself from your partner’s abusive activities

Sometimes not reacting to a situation helps. If the other person does not understand your perspective physically remove yourself from the situation. For example, if your partner is yelling at you and your calm statements have no effect, the only reasonable reaction to the abuse is to leave the room or the premises.

By refusing to engage with your partner and refraining from trying to reason and argue with them, you are showing your partner that he or she is not acting rationally and that you are not going to put up with the behavior. Some couples will learn to change their behavior through repeated exposure to this approach; others will not. If you are repeatedly exposed to verbal abuse from a partner, it may be necessary to temporarily or permanently end the relationship.

Listen to the other person before you arrive at your judgment

Listen to your partner after voicing your concern, listen to their response with open ears and an open heart. Ditch judgment and resist the urge to interrupt. Now is the time to show you care by being a stable, calming presence. Try to keep your partners perspective in mind and open up about the situation, don’t be surprised if he/she is resistant or have a strong, emotional reaction. Both are natural. Be kind, and above all, patient. It may feel awkward or difficult in the beginning, but rest assured, it does get easier. Each time you bring up the subject due to which such abuses start it will result in an ongoing conversation and lead to mindfulness which will help in– identifying the right approach that puts both of you at ease for next time. And if the other partner needs more time before they’re willing to share, respect their wishes. The best thing you can do then is to make yourself available, allowing them the opportunity to approach you when they feel more comfortable. Either way, never give up.

Set some personal boundaries for each other

Set personal boundaries on behaviors you will not accept from your partner and enforce them. Setting some personal boundaries often reminds the other partner to be on the lookout for abusive behaviors, recognize them and protect themselves from further emotional and mental harm.

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